NAKED WARS

The impetuous process we call “Dating”

The game between man and woman dates back to our homo sapient era, when our ancestors were apes and bonobos. The ape is a violent and aggressive mammal – and the bonobo is the more physically affectionate. And somewhere several hundred thousands of years ago, the two species collided and thus born was the mutt: Aka: the modern day human. And what are we? Well, we’re a beautiful blend of violence and passion.

The brain games men and women heave on each other- trick and confuse the other with, are as important as they are entertaining. Call you tomorrow? Text me when? Touch me now! Oh wait I didn't mean that….. Oh my god, that’s my favorite author, entrée, pet peeve, fetish, color, and dog too!

The identical games we swear we’ll refuse to partake in, claim we'll abandon and dismiss, staking our vulnerability and independence, still rule our systematic (dare I say efficient) process. This is the brutal tri-dimensional brain game that we, as heterosexuals, seeking soul-mates succombed to.... And It's a cruel version of monopoly turned twister that Webster has defined as dating.

What is dating? Well, it can be titillating, or a lackluster filtering method to rid of the opposite gender who have failed to meet our perquisites. Yet, we still partake with the hope we'll find someone, and to possibly fill a photo album? Or dare I say, someone with whom to one day pro-actively procreate? Thus we aspire through this century-old archaic activity, sacrificing Saturday nights to unearth our westernized ideology, fantasy – aka: future of a perfect family. The man or the woman who will fit the bill (resume) will grace us with 2.7 perfectly engineered children. Whose combo of us and them produce genetics of genius, so the child will concurrently kick ass in soccer, spelling bees, and eventually attend Ivy-Leagues. Right? I don't have kids, so I could be totally wrong.

But before the birthday parties, where children bash piñatas and TV remote controls need parental control, a man and woman had to win, or in some case – they both had to lose. But however you want to phrase the copasetic agreement… there had to be a mutual “Gimme”.

This feat of finding "the one" is far more fierce and exhausting than any kind of sports playoff you can fathom – and I hate to admit, but your return on investment might not be as rewording as shorting a pitiful stock, hitting jackpot in Vegas, dominating fantasy football, or getting a Gucci purse at Saks for 80% off. No this is not only a game against the opposite gender, but it’s against yourself. A deceptive version of the tango, the perfect syncopation where drama is equally important as the irrational, and the only thing we can do....

is make sure we don’t send the last text, say the wrong thing, or pose the wrong question, and mostly not come across as totally not right

So in a culture when non-failing professionals making an above-poverty income boast individuality on a pedestal of power, what’s a single gal to do?

HAVE FUN!

PLOT SPOILER - AVATAR - WHY I REALLY LOVED IT!!!

Okay before you read be warned: I discuss the ending to this AMAZING movie, but let’s be honest what producer can spend $500 million on groundbreaking technology for 3-d animation, and glorious cinematography to boot. And then have a depressing ending? Nope. Optimistic and broke America won’t have it... Nor will The Academy (ak: Oscars). At the very least (after the trashy, violent and occasionally inane entertainment we watch) movie producers can give people some hope as they wander out to parking lots with their 3D glasses and popcorn hangovers. That said, Titanic did turn out rather depressing, so perhaps James Cameron can keep those of us familiar with his motion pictures, on our toes.

Why did this film out of all the half-dozen per year I see (I’m famous for my lack of pop culture knowledge) tug at our innermost guts and swoon? It’s truly the meeting, melding of Walt Disney and Pixar with some Mother goose and American history woven in…

CAUTION: I've been writing about politics far too much lately, that and other serious issues... and so thought I'd take trivial and observational for a spin!

Themes:
Magical Ecology is in combat with the Americans who are exploiting and pillaging and eventually monetizing metals that do not belong to them, but rather belong to The Avatar People…. Side Bar: Just to defend the mystical trees where the jellyfish bugs live (this will make sense in several paragraphs) if there is a more powerful version of the internet lurking in weeping willow trees, I’m all about conservation... Oh yeah, and the main theme; unconventional love!

Set the scene: You’ve got a tropicalesque world (PLANET PANDORA) with a combination of Star-Wars/Jurassic Park characters on a Neon Fern Gully-esque planet. You also have a “Human” space-zone where you can find the familiar helos, artillery, the whole nine yards. Think, base camp perhaps? We meet the protagonist who is veteran, whose moniker is “meals on wheels,” he is as pathetic as he is endearing (and handsome)…While it’s discovered that his brain is “beautiful” we learn that it isn’t his shrewdness that saves the planet, but his courageous and dedicated heart.

FYI: We’re not talking X-MEN genius. At first we think it’s all about smarts with Jake, but it’s about emotion, acceptance, vulnerability, all those things that mitigate brain cells and directly target audience’s aching souls… Dramatic, huh? You should hear some of the one-liners!

So the obvious protagonist is the mysteriously simple, who has lost his twin brother in war… With no woman in the picture, no life really, no functional legs, surrounded by a bunch of scientists and ravenous capitalists, convinced he isn’t’ capable of the task… While the sexy military thing does a lot for the audience it really works against him when he is abandoned out in the wilderness where monsters and goblins reside. BINGO: Born the perfect character to feel accepted in a voo-doo/glow-in-the-dark rain forest with a badass hottie, MEET Neytiri, teaching him the skills to pay the bills (or become an official tribal member).

THEN….. There is the intriguing MATRIX twist (that appeals to the those born before 1985)… where his brain is connected to his human body, and his “Avatar” body is connected to his human brain… oh quite the complicated Ménage à trois. So however much he loves the Na'vi people, he is forever plastered in his human body… Let’s just hope this doesn’t encourage America’s children to jump headfirst into cyber space and connect over Play Station…

Okay let’s go ahead and cut to the chase. So the REAL reason why I’m ABSOLUTELY obsessed is because of this sweet and terribly inconvenient amour that brings these two little lovebirds, ak: crippled Marine spy and alien-version of Pocahontas together. FIRST: Neytiri is about to kill Jake, but there is a little cotton ball/jelly-fish bug that lands on her bow and arrow, inspiring her to instead of murder him, save his life (or his Avatar body). He follows her like a lost and befuddled man, but once again the all-alluring omnipresent (ak: Jelly Fish things, which is actually from the “ENYRA” trees steps in again)…. She realizes that she must bring him home to her clan, folks and such.

We’re about 40 minutes into the film. SO FAR: nothing is a matter of free will, so far “signs” have determined the fate of these folks, which is fascinating to me… What does that say about American Culture? There is something warm and fuzzy about “supposed to” right? That all the “signs” will point us in the right “fated” direction, I believe the reason why we like the illusion of “Fate” is because it negates any possibility of risking the “Screw Up”– well, because if it’s "supposed to" it will regardless of a screw up, and if not… well let’s get a move on! But if it’s all in our control we could mess up or miss out big time. FYI: the idea of fate is nice for the busy girl like myself, the more decisions I can outsource the better! That said, I also consider "supposed to" a quasi-weak position of default, I'd rather to believe I carve my own path, make my own decisions... I know, you're totally thinking "control freak".

Neytiri’s parents insist she educate and teach “enemy retard” how to be part of her clan. This feels very “Lion-King” … (SIDE PLOT: Man she is “pre-arranged to marry wants to kill Jake… do I sense a little, Shrek?) Nice little bonus: Mating immediately equates marriage… sort of a hybrid version of Common Law. Oh yeah, and each warrior has his or her own dragon. That said, I totally dig all the mono relationships – dragons and warriors, man and woman… Each person has a little “antennae” that links to the animal or significant other's antennae, and immediately you subconsciously connect… very special. FYI: The following animals mate for life: Gibbon apes, wolves, termites, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, brolga cranes, French angel fish, sandhill cranes, pigeons, prions (a seabird), red-tailed hawks, anglerfish, ospreys, prairie voles (a rodent), and black vulture..

Notice Homo sapiens aren’t on that list?


SO as the plot thickens TWO Things happen while he is melding into the Avartian culture:
1. He remembers how nice it is to have legs. He enjoys the wilderness, the fresh air (which is carbon monoxide to humans)… oh yeah and he is falling madly, smitten.
2. He is also realizing that his life as a human sucks and might be worth nixing in an exchange to make this “alternate-reality” reality.

SIDE HISTORICAL NOTE: Humans, ak: Rabid Free Market Zealots are mining for “Unobtainium” (COULD CAMERON BE MORE SUBSTLE?) under the Avatar “tree of life” thus human’s reason for killing off the indigenous. I believe this is metaphorical for the “early settlers” ak: Christopher Columbus days?

SO back to the juicy love story: Neytiri tells Jake it is time for him to select a dame, he replies that he has in fact already chosen, but the real choice is hers, -… get the tissues. The passion builds. Voila, they mate (not as procreate, but as in PG-13 version for consummate), conclude they’re a couple. Ooooo the suspense is building… Will he abandon his wheel chair and McDonalds for his true love and net Hammocks? (I sure would – who doesn’t like a nap in a comfortable hammock?) How is it that Disney/Pixar, can make the passion of Lions, a Beauty/Beast, Dogs, Mice, Aliens… so umm… real? Hmm… I’ve never identified while watching the above at a zoo or the Discovery channel, but you name any movie and I swoon. Cameron really perfected the personification of the animal.

Back to the “Shrek” angle. For a moment Jake is dying (again) and Neytiri jumps, rather leaps through broken glass to save him with a human oxygen mask. An Amazonian vibe; a large blue woman is cradling a malnourished and poorly shaven man; it is mesmerizing and powerful moment no less… that there is truly no wall, whether it's the air we breathe or the bodies we inhibit that prohibits love. OOOO. What’s even cooler is that this ex-marine sans legs falls for something outside of his realm, his relatable stratosphere, and he himself becomes the hero and leader of an entire Planet Pandora (don’t ya know) that he was once trying to destroy, oh yeah…


Lessons to Take Away:

- Nature: And its keepers/protectors (Indians/aliens) will always persevere, especially if it/they glow in the dark.
- Career: Hunters and Gathers don’t have to worry about income taxes.
- Love: Can exist between any two species as long as they're part of the same Genus biological classification.
- Stereotypes are rubbish. There is a chance that those you assume are the most different from you are actually those with whom you feel the most at home.