Jun 22, 2009

energy

So back to energy: What if something is neutral? Neutral is far more painful than negative. Recently I let something go – it was close to me, daily, it became habit, thus easy, which I interpreted as comfortable, but I was wrong. Comfortable equates to safe - and what was really happening to me, is I was settling, which can be the most dangerous act of all. It was the expected… and with unchanged actions, I assumed positive energy, but the truth… with stagnation eventually arrives maggots, and so neutral shouldn’t be ignored, it should be discarded, and quickly.

Placidity while easy, isn’t… it can become stubborn and dull, no longer providing us with adequate and supple support, invigorating us, challenging us to pursue, pause and catch our breath, barely giving us reason to keep breathing. Energy is contagious...

Neutral is almost worse than negative, neutral is void of energy. With negative you’re aware it’s bad, there is a void in positive, there is something oppositional to reach out to – but it is hard to let neutral go, when you don’t know how to reach out to something better, especially when you don’t have a clue what that is... because your choices requires your energy....

It is so easy to run from terrible, negative energy is a poison we all recognize, but it is difficult to justify leaving something that isn’t so bad, rather, not good…. But sometimes that risk has to be logical enough …

Walking away doesn't mean you're exerting energy searching for something or someone better, all is means is now you’re open to finding it.


"The one who loves the least, controls the relationship."
-Robert Anthony

"He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

Truisms. Either a waste of time, or can save you years of unhappiness, if you’re capable of untangling meanings, apply to your life, and then proactively alter your character to rid whatever about you is wrong. Now, Go!

- So, Love more and/or control less. Aka: aspire to be a doormat…
- So, Learn how to embrace your flaws. Aka: Cellulite is sexy… take up narcissism as a hobby.

NO. Each is saying that love; this pure magnetic energy is powerful and protective. Ben was a sharp guy, and he didn’t mean love will prevent you from enemies, but it sure as hell will keep you safe from feeling competitive.

Let's venture to my favorite, Anthony the MD venerable hypnosis says that he who loves the most, controls the least, right? Wrong. He is saying that the one in the relationship with the most love (selflessness) won’t have a dire strain to control, because love will take care accordingly, or so we’d like to trust… And yes, I’m a control freak – maybe I need to do a little more lovin’, eh?

Both above generally require therapy, gym membership, occasionally plastic surgery, and/or a healthy relationship. None come cheap monetarily, but more crucial, all require energy.

Ask for surprise and baby, it will hunt you down….



Until it is exhaling fate in your face, it’s a surreal experience, and one stemming easily from energy.

Serendipity will smack you across your face when you have doubt, seeking answers, and when you’re about to abandon hope. It’s that little message saying, “hold on” the answer is almost, not quite, but soon approaching you… You’ve heard all the stories. You can trace the climatic part of your life back to a conscious choice, a song on the radio, a phone call, the person you met on an airplane, or ran into at the grocery store...

Fate isn’t random, it’s a simple negotiation – you’ve put a want out into the world and serendipity is signing off on it– with a little injection in the middle of your day. Nobody would know it were coincidence except for you – so somewhere in your subconscious you were asking for it.

I have this crazy belief that people cross your path for a reason -and sometimes the reason won't make sense for a long time after.

It was late October on a Tuesday afternoon, dark outside, it was after an accounting class and blizzarding. I was crutching through the snow as pathetic as you can imagine a girl with a broken hip could be. And I had called a yellow cab because a girl with a broken hip can't drive. And hobbling through the slush (this is truly a pitiful sight) the cab rolls away from the back of the parking lot, leaving me freezing and stuck at school.

Lugging my backpack inside the building, I huddle on a bench trying to get hold of the cab company. A lovely woman, a professor sees this desperate sight and offers to drive me home. Knowing she had an office next to my adviser, and having said hello before, I accepted. We got to chatting during the drive and I admitted while I loved numbers, words sorta turned me on as well. She suggested I meet her friend (an editor at a magazine- unnamed) for a cup of coffee. I was offered a job on the spot, and through word of mouth I found out about the magazine I'm currently at... landed that gig, and voila here is now. And I can't imagine being any happier...

I sometimes wonder where I'd be, instead of this chair,
writing this email, had that cab waited just one minute longer.

Jun 13, 2009

Elway...




It’s half past midnight and I’m sipping a martini in downtown Denver.

Suddenly the crowded bar turns toward the entrance. Curious as to the commotion, my friends and I watch two tall black men walk into Earls. Aware that they’re stirring attention, Carmelo Anthony and J.R. Smith duck their heads and retreat to the back of the restaurant.

Several minutes later a loud group, not the normal patrons comprised of twenty-thirty something urbanites, but rather the gathering you’d see at a family birthday party. Moms and grandmas, uncles and cousins in sweatshirts and sneakers, pinstripes and leather, at the rear of this motley crew is the baldhead of Chauncey Billups. A guy whose dues have been paid starting in inner city, rocked it at the University of Colorado and since leaving the Rockies passed through Detroit, Minnesota, Orlando and Toronto. But finally this past November has come home.

Tomorrow night is the first playoff game for the Denver Nuggets, but more important than the playoff, this is the second time Denver has a hero with a #7 on his jersey.

I wandered over to J.R. and Melo (last January Denver Mag published an exclusive cover feature), while congratulating the two, Billups approached. Upon noticing the veteran player, their eyes lit up. I witnessed the proud and unfettered sports stars accustomed to signing autographs and speaking on ESPN become quiet with reverence.

Rarely does success reach a point when it’s no longer worth calculating.

Zeros and accolades stop adding value, and the challenge is no longer making it, but figuring out how to enjoy it. The antithesis of the “baller” basketball player, Billups doesn’t prove how cool he is by 24k gold chains, overpriced vodka, and women wrapped around tattooed arms. And while that description could be confused as a rapper, Billups has established his worth where it can be objectively measured, on the court.

A cousin in the NFL, Billup’s genes can’t be too shoddy, but I wonder if ever in high school, or after his shoulder injury, or when he was on the reserves, if he ever considered quitting? The image of Denver’s most celebrated athlete laughing gingerly over ice water, in the eyes of an older woman, probably his grandmother, reality hit me hard.

Success is when you can afford to live in the moment.


Flowers and IVs

I make reference to my color-coded day planner. Most nod politely, not giving a damn, and anyone who knows me chuckles tastefully knowing I’m full of shit. The chance of locating a colored pen in the trenches of my bag is as easy as finding the Lions at the super bowl. I bitch. Without doubt I’m the first to complain, or whine, or seek out empathy from an unassuming sympathetic ear. But the last words to leave my mouth are, “it could always be worse.” And, never has a painful event occurred, when it couldn’t, not, get better.

Ambulances are a warm and safe haven for me. Odd. However disgruntling the statement might be interpreted, the ol’ go-carts full of supplies have transported me from hospital to home on numerous occasions. Mostly during my stint as an invalid.

However, on a particular afternoon two weeks ago, the breezy, sunny, April springtime afternoon in Denver, returned from a sojourn from LA that morning, the rest of my day and outfit were wiped out. As quick as you can press the gas pedal, was I strapped to a stretcher with sirens screeching, recollecting my social security number while a needle was being shoved into my vein.

Family and friends were tossing silly jabs my way while awaiting results from the MRI. Attempting to capture the seriousness of the situation, I advised with a stoic expression “you know, this detour wasn’t on my agenda…getting my car totaled and canceling a party I’d spent weeks organizing was certainly not on my “to do” list.”

So what? A benign car wreck led me to wonder, what other interruptions aren’t clearly inserted into calendars and palm pilots? Heart attacks, cancer diagnosis, plane crashes, and god forbid worse. These are the unforeseen rollercoaster rides that screw up our existence as we so unknowingly expected it. So what is the answer: brace yourself? Hold tight to your loved ones because all hell will break lose eventually? While I wish there was a remedy to cure what hasn’t happened yet, I’m abandoned with a single deliberation. Live knowing there will be phone calls you don’t want to answer, and news you’d like to ignore, but among the handful of painful blows, there are unheralded interruptions that are capable of inviting joy, if you leave your eyes open.

BRACKISH

Mostly Caucasians fill the flat. It’s Friday evening and dancing to the pop music is bubbling alcohol, torte chips and digital cameras. All strategically organized, to flirt, record, and then share the glee with the rest of the world via facebook.

In the corner by the pantry is a woman who doesn’t fit in, visually anyhow. Course, dark, hair hides her soft, but calm expression. Twenty years older than everyone else, she seeks counsel studying photographs and nodding at conversation in which she hasn’t been included. Amiss from the cultish pack of precipitous partiers is one man who steps closer to the involuntary recluse.

Two people speaking in half Spanish and half English, but mostly via horizontal head motions and vertical hand movements. While I wasn’t privy to their shared dialogue, I discovered their conversation was anything but trivial, or effort-heavy chatter produced out of guilt. The few minutes brought reality back to my friend.

It wasn’t his reality, but hers that convinced him to see a light at the end of his own tunnel. It was as simple as a story about her son's graduation announcements. Graduation announcements were $35, and her cousin could not afford to have such a luxury printed.

In his world where $35 can be easily found and replaced, to meet someone where so little is so much, suddenly the fruits of our labor, however sour on a given day, suddenly taste succulent. The laborious strain that weighs down weekdays, tying muscles into painful knots, can never be as tragic as not having $35 to spare.

And my friend walked away feeling so profoundly affected by the realities of this woman, I don’t know if he understood what he unintentionally handed her in return is invaluable. In a life absent of influence, an office where she caters to the upper echelon of society, she was heard, simply because he wanted to listen.

In a room saturated with loud and obnoxious, unaware young professionals, a small Spanish woman found her voice.

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” Erica Jong


Tina Fey "Smart is sexy after all."

I once faulted men for weighing bra size against brilliance, but several “smart” relationships later, I’m almost jealous of an easy-going appetite, hungry for a myriad of perks, literally! Not that I’m as rude as to lump all men into the assumption that looks hold greater value than per say personality. But I’d be liar to argue that some men are content with an average-IQ, as long as an above-average exterior accompanies it. There isn’t space on this blog to demystify and dissect the age-old beauty construct, (unless you’re Dolly Parten) everyone will eventually grow visibly older (and that is the most polite way to phrase the aging process).

It’d be an untruth to not admit I fall victim late at night coveting how easily a man can energetically embrace the “as long as she is smoking hot” methodology. But as the giggling girl climbs in the back of the cab, I quickly recall her eyes are camoflogued by eyeliner.

Eyes, however revealing and beautiful can only communicate a limited number of words. Sure a particular gaze will say, “Come hither,” or “I’m sleepy”, and “not interested”, and eventually when eye flirtation has led to your mouth, I better like what I hear.

So men, let’s (just for kicks) consider the long-term consequences of settling for a ridiculously sexy dumbass. And no, this isn’t just a sales pitch for sassy, smart, educated women who aren’t knockouts, unless you’re losing a battle in a board room to a woman in glasses,suit and even better- sharp attitude!

You can opt to downsize your know-how via a variety of methods (some illegal) in an attempt to match her brain capacity, or can you can invest in routine upkeep and upgrades on her surgical procedures. Without trying to make it to the middle, there is a strong probability your relationship could get boring. A man becoming bored can be the most debilitating problem, one even the sexiest of women can’t solve.

My personal formula (everyone should have one): (Brilliant + Golf) / (Funny) = Perfect

Jun 10, 2009

Why Women Ought To Play GOLF




SEE THAT DORKY COUPLE? That too, could be you!

Okay ladies, Denver has been voted by multiple publications as “Top Town for Singles”, but the following information is crucial, it’s a proven fact that Denver has More Men Per Capita than anywhere else in the country!

One might neglect the vital prerequisites for a worthwhile date, and we can all agree men can be easily found at Washington Park throwing Frisbees, Rockies baseball games cheering with their pals, hell walk into Sports Authority and you’ll be greeted by masculinity galore. But while most of us independent, hardworking, and awesome women are relishing June sunshine, meeting lads at the expected locations, it’s true that summer might be more fun sans singledom.

This past February I scribed about Denver’s “Meet Market” … investigating the local speed-dating scene, submitted a profile to eharmony.com, even succumbed to a high-end service determined to introduce me to my soul mate via algorithms and personality tests. But now that my sweaters and skis are packed away until this winter, I’ve taken to a more traditional idea that maybe I’ll trip across Mr. Perfect out in the real world, or on the golf course.

Sure, Colorado offers world renown kayaking, hiking, sky-diving, but how many sports can you count offer the opportunity to drive around in a little vehicle, encourage Molson Coors, and considered a perfectly legitimate place to negotiate business. Not only am I stubborn, but I take pride in my femininity, I would never suggest you sacrifice hobbies you love to take on a sport for men, but there is logic to males dedicating weekends, spending thousands on Callaway’s and enduring weird tan lines, so there might be just cause is taking up this “wanderlust” pastime. So fellow femmes, I urge you to telephone the golf instructor and purchase pink Pro-Vs, if not for him, for you!

But back to boys: Golf is especially ideal if you’re on the prowl in cognito… The majority of men will be too busy respecting your appreciation for the sport, (which works to our advantage because let’s face it requires enough athleticism for someone, say John Daly can dominate) to notice you might happen to checking them out! I’ll be honest, the minute I figured out that it was cool when I volunteered to play a charity tournament, make Saturday trips to the driving range, and kick it at putt-putt, my only wish was that I had learned the game earlier.

Not to mention that etiquette has an integral role in every aspect of golf. From staying silent when your opponent is chipping, to yelling “FORE” when you’re about to hit someone with your drive. I’m serious, if your consistent complaints tend to sound like: Why can't men hold the door open? Buy me a drink? Stay quiet and wait patiently until I’m done doing whatever it is I’m doing (ask your beau how many “waggles” his swing requires), baby you’re not alone, and you’ve just found your game.

Solution: I am the first to confess, it’s wicked fun to be a woman in the “boys club” and there are few instances when it is embraced and encouraged, and thanks to our coveted Mile High City, there are hundreds courses in Colorado where you can be the only woman for miles, or more precisely, yards. So fulfill your deep desire to don adorable plaid petal pushers, sip that ice-cold brewski, and be in the midst of many men, khaki-wearing blokes in popped polos, all of whom will find your affection for golf, irresistible.

And if all else fails, they don’t call it fantasy football for nothing.


Some tips:


- Women’s tees are there for a reason. Unless you’ve been bench pressing 200 pounds on a regular basis, I highly recommend starting at the tees created for us.
- Even if he refers to it as a beach or sand trap, don’t be misled, it’s a bunker.
- Tip the cart girl regardless of her obnoxious and annoying flirtation with your boyfriend. He isn’t paying attention to her, he is bragging to his buddies that his girl plays golf.
- Never, NEVER, talk, cough, whisper, laugh or the ultimate no-no, ask a question while someone is putting.
- If you lose a ball, you have approximately three minutes to dig it out of a bush, weeds, wherever its hid itself, if you have no luck grab another ball and go.
- One practice swing. (Ask about the waggle.)
- Cyprus isn’t in reference to a television reality series.

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